Pessimism

I have been thinking about pessimism for a while now. I have been also thinking what others make of it. They say I am not entitled to it. I say I am.

They say I am not unfortunate enough for it. They say a person in my stature (and here I wonder what the hell are they talking about) is not allowed to claim it. As if pessimism is a privilege for the underprivileged and the underprivileged alone.

They say I shouldn't feel sorry for myself. They also say all kind of other bullshit like me being a Phoenician should give me the strength to rise from the ashes like the Phoenix.

They say I should be thankful. 

They say I should be grateful.

They say I should be satisfied and fulfilled.

They say I am blessed.

They say I enjoy privileges others can only dream of. 

They say my necessities are other people's luxuries. 

I warned you they said all kind of bullshit. And why do I claim such a thing? Because all the above means nothing to me. Other people's situation is not my concern. I do feel sorry for the poor, the sick, etc... but I don't think that this feeling should in any way stand in my way. 

The fact that some people are less fortunate, the fact that others are poorer, less educated, sicker than I am, or facing any other kind of obstacle in their life is in no way a motive for me to look more positively at my current or future situation. 

Although I fairly dislike religious metaphors, I find some truth to this one: God has given each of us a cross fitted to their size to carry through life. 

My cross might be smaller than others', but it is all I can carry and God knows it. And I shouldn't be judged for the mere fact that I am pessimistic when my back hurts, don't you think?