The Power of Time

While making my regular FB tour tonight, I was struck by a famous Buddha quote which read: “The trouble is, you think you have time.” I sat there contemplating the sentence for what seemed forever, and then I realized I better stop staring and move on to something else before time with its mighty wings dares steal even more precious moments while I keep going unaware of its effects and its boldness.  

The concept of time has been consuming me for 3 days now, and I feel the need to virtually arrange my thoughts on paper in hope of settling an already busy mind. It all started when I discovered a white hair in my eyebrow while fixing my makeup in the car. I froze for an eternity before I started the engine and went straight to my beautician to pluck it out.

I had never been aware of how scary it would be for me to start the aging process. Sure I have always joked about it, but not once - I am now aware - have I truly gave it a sincere thought. Somehow I had never believed that I would ever grow old, or older. I had always had the sense that one way or another, my life would be over by the time I was thirty. And with thirty so close now, a lot downed on me in a single moment.

The sense of being underachieved could be tragically thrown out of proportion when you spot your first white hair. The feeling that you have done way too little in contrast with your potential sets in, and a whole lot of drama starts buzzing in your head, robbing you a bit more of what little sanity you were still trying to maintain.  

I sit here thinking of whys and what ifs. I sit with remorse, with regrets. I feel threatened by missed opportunities and lack of effort. And as one thought gets chained to the other, I start seeing lack of ambition, lack of spirit and serious lack of motivation in my past, and sadly, in my present as well. Melancholic dilemmas start clouding me and a morose state takes over my being. Have I ever really tried achieving a goal or fulfilling a dream? Have I ever given anything my all? Have I ever compromised enough or have I ever, to the contrary, refused to compromise? Have I been passionate, in the true sense of the word, about something in my life so far? The answer saddens me even more, it empties me of any sympathy I still had for myself. Had I ever been sincerely passionate and truly determined, I wouldn’t be lamenting myself now.

Tonight I pray for the ability to use the fleeting gift of time more wisely. I pray for greater determination and second chances. I pray for patience and opportunity. I pray for knowledge and feasibility. I pray for inspiration and enthusiasm. For hope and faith. For strength and drive. For passion, most of all, because love is nothing without it, and what a shame it would be to waste love.

Tonight I strive to read more and procrastinate less. I strive to do more and talk less. To produce more while nagging less. To appreciate what I already have. To cherish what I have already achieved. To be thankful for the people already surrounding me. For without gratefulness to what I am lucky to have now, I don’t deserve what I may accomplish in the future and will never know how to enjoy it.    

A Place In My Heart For Dubai

I am not sure where to start to describe this trip. It wasn’t planned, it was bordering messy even, but aren’t all the best endeavors a result of spontaneity and impulsiveness?

It all began with a silly FB comment I made in February in which I told my friend who is residing in Dubai that it simply isn’t fair for her to get the chance to see Julio Iglesias’s concert without me, and since it was almost my birthday, my good friend decided that my gift would be a ticket to attend the concert with her!

And thus hasty preparations were on the way as I looked for the cheapest ticket possible and put the visa’s acquiring in the hands of the travel agent while I busied myself with extra work to go on the trip with a clear head and a clearer conscience.

I had been longing for a vacation for quite a while, and saw this trip as my opportunity to finally do it, and so I decided I better save my money to indulge in my shopping there, but as usual, whilst the intentions were there, the goal remained unattainable in my case; I mean what did you expect? Lebanon was on sale in February and I simply couldn’t help squandering my earnings here and there. I did a more refined job saving in March though and went to Dubai ready to shop!

Enough introductions already! Long story short, I made it there after a long, and I mean long work shift and a car breakdown. I slept throughout the entire plane trip, except for the little hassle caused by the 50 something year old passenger sitting next to me as she kept hovering over me to look at the nothing beneath us from the window.

Dubai at first glance wowed me. I looked in awe at the skyscrapers towering above me, and saw the modernity of the architecture all around me with wonder. All the buildings on both sides of Cheikh Zayed’s highway made the skyscrapers’ district in Qatar look like a small, far away oasis compared to the majesty of Dubai.

My 6 days and 5 nights spent as my friends’ guest were packed with shopping and culinary experiences by day and clubbing by night. My feet asked for mercy after pacing twice through the classic Ibn Battouta mall and later ached while restlessly wandering inside the luxurious Dubai mall. Souk el Bahar also proved to be an excellent place to shop for souvenirs and trinkets.

Along with the shopping came the sightseeing, the restaurants and the coffee breaks which were all marvelous and worth the while; Burj Khalifa and Burj el Arab, the fountain show, and of course, Jumeirah with its various outlets to name a few.

During the nights, I came to see the other face of that beautiful city. Dubai offered me a wide range of choices when it came to nightlife, and each club I tried had a unique feel and a distinguished ambiance to it. 360, Barasti, the Belgium Beer Café, Trader Vic’s and People all were up to the standards if not above them. The mix of nationalities only increased the glamor of these places, and the obvious over enjoyment painted on everybody’s face made these venues all the more appealing.

Julio’s concert was magical, whimsical and touchy. I felt suspended in time as I listened to his legendary voice serenading me with my childhood’s poetry. It was a concert to remember with a pinch in the heart as my beloved idol poured all of his sentimentality in song, tango and poignant anecdotes. I feel lucky for having been able to witness such greatness in my lifetime.

The beach experience was also fulfilling as I plunged my toes in the white clean sand and tanned under the blazing sun between dips in the clear blue water. It was a very relaxing excursion and one I will yearn for dearly, as such splendor is hard to find.

In between plans, I spent a good part of my time there sitting peacefully on the yard bench with my coffee mug and Davidoff cigarettes. It helped me gather my thoughts and gave me the opportunity to enjoy a lot of quality time with my friend, to whom I wish to repeat my endless thanks.

All in all, it was a trip that I will look back to with longing for a long time. I shall always remember it with fondness, and nostalgia of course, as it is a feeling I find hard to shake regardless the topic.

Dubai, you will be missed…