Because I Have Nothing Better To Do

I considered reading, but I am not in the mood. Instead, I decided to lose my virtual poker chips while listening to depressing songs. 

I am sure you have heard this advice before, but there is no harm in repeating it: Don't listen to depressing songs when you are already depressed. 

I am sure that like myself, you never listen to your own advices. 

Question: Are anxiety and impatience caused by depression, or is depression generated by anxiety and impatience?

Comes a moment when the only people you can stand are the exact same bunch who can't tolerate you at this very moment.

No need to elaborate on the ones you can't currently stand and who, for some reason, won't leave you the hell alone at least till it goes away. What would it be you may ask. I can call it depression but I am not sure if it is the correct term for it.

Whatever it is that I am going through right now, there are some adjectives that can describe it, but no scientific term that I know of that can give it justice by name. It is sad, pathetic and peculiarly mind numbing.

Did I bring this upon myself, or was it merely universal justice?

I am suffocating by the sight of the same people, over and over and over again.

Self esteem: Is it its lack or its abundance that is fueling this feeling?

I am in deep shit, shit caused by arrogance, stupidity and lack of analysis. I just throw myself into impossible situations. I am aware it is my choice. I still blame it on others. 

And where the hell is my stop button?? Just STOP!!

Lack of control. Lack of will. 

French rock tunes. I hope they help me out of this mood.