I want to make this a modern fairytale, but I can’t. Because it’s
not. Because it won’t be. But because I believe in the magic of words, I will
retain them in here and hope the readers who have been asking for a drop of something
positive will enjoy.
Just for the spirit of enchantment, I will begin this with a once
upon a time…
Once upon a time, I met a guy. We will call him the Hiker. Or the
Hiker Dude. Yeah, the Hiker Dude sounds much better. When I first looked at
him, I was lying down. But in the blink of an eye, I felt elated. It wasn’t his
dreamy blue eyes, but his dreamy words that transported me to some sort of cloud.
Anyone who knows me, or has ever read me, knows I have a special relationship
with words (alas not tonight though, I am here typing because I can’t
concentrate on a book I’ve been wanting to read for 10 years and finally found,
so don’t expect any poetic sentences from the tips of these fingers tonight,
but do keep yourself ready for some of the Hiker Dude’s magic nonetheless). His
words opened the door to some much needed daydreaming, at night. He didn’t even
have to make an effort, his words just flowed out of him, and he struck me as
oblivious to his own powers. He probably isn’t, but he was humble about it in
any case. All he did was tell me a bit about him. The more I asked, the more
answers he provided, and I felt I could keep on asking forever. I felt as if my
thirst could not be quenched, but I had to stop at some point and get back down
to my terrestrial couch, sadly enough.
A sentence here and a detail there. A fact here and a joke there. And
a mighty, graceful stitch between all those elements was all it took to bewitch
me. He didn’t say much, but at the end he didn’t have to. He didn’t try hard,
and he didn’t have to either. There was subtlety, agility and elegance to all his
descriptions. And that helped engrave his words in my memory somehow. The
following may not be a completely accurate account of his portrayals,
chronologically speaking or vocabulary wise, but it’s the best my brain can
come up with on memory. I am going to be as loyal as humanly possible to his
discourse, and I hope you will enjoy it…The Hiker’s words:
“Let's see here, I currently live on the Hawaiian island of Kauai
but am moving much closer to you, to where we are right now, soon… I am looking for awesomeness… I travel often,
hike, camp, backpack, and go on all kinds of adventures... I am the oldest of 5
and I am very tight with my siblings… I work hard. I play hard. Sometimes I
don't play hard if I find a great show to marathon on Netflix… I hold great
value in the connections with my close friends… I like to play scrabble and am
largely undefeated… I build things; it's very gratifying. I can fix anything.
If I cannot fix it then I will destroy any evidence that I ever tried to… I will
hold the door open… I love dogs. I love cats if they behave like dogs. I wish I
were half the man my dogs think I am...Mountains and water are a primal
requirement to live near. That last sentence did not begin with "I"…
I just made a couch that has been nicknamed the "comacouch"...I'm
addicted to frequent flier miles. I like to make up stories about people I
watch at the airport. I tinker... French press coffee is my favorite... My
favorite color is green and it has nothing to do with pot or money… I am protective
over my favorite spoon. I used to be a vegan who loved meat... I maintain eye
contact. I listen. I plan on being spontaneous and sometimes spontaneously plan...
I do my own taxes and wonder why… I am on a first name basis with REI… My
favorite wine comes from New Zealand... I am the opposite of clumsy. I stay up
late and get up early… I know a lot of really bad and offensive jokes… CAKE
wrote a song about my dream woman... Yard sales and treasure hunting are oodles
of fun... I use a check register... I have a face. I love life and all the
challenges it presents to let me experience the full spectrum of it... I look
forward to meeting someone who is down to Earth but can go to outer space as
well. I am wanting to find the woman to spend every day with and have some little
ones and dogs.”
Is it just me or do those bits and pieces sewn together make him
perfect? And for those of you who are wondering, I concur, he does have a face
indeed. Not that I am incapable of imagining such a dreamy character on my own,
but aside from the words, I’d probably mess it up, and he most definitely won’t
be a hiker. He’s real though, too real if you ask me.
And just when I thought he couldn’t be any more perfect, he took a
piercing, immaculate look at me, and then proceeded to satisfy his own
curiosity with a bunch of silly little questions. No more than 5 minutes later,
he took out his notebook, and he wrote an impressive introduction about me, one
that my oldest friends probably, no definitely, couldn’t come up with if they
tried. The following is a very accurate copy of what the Hiker scribbled down
that night about me, someone he had barely just met. It looks like a newspaper
ad or maybe an out of this world CV intro. I love it. I will cherish that entry
forever.
“My
name is Mimi and it is a nickname for… Why you would just have to find that out
won't you!... I love to read and am quite the bookworm… As an Aquarius I have a
thirst for knowledge as well as a thirst to know why I have a thirst for
knowledge... I also possess some very powerful eyes. If I meet you in
person I will be able to see your soul on the edges of them. If you are
not worthy then you will turn to stone but if you are, then you will melt
into a puddle of joy… I work in a cutthroat industry but I like to leave my
work at work and be more of myself when I'm at home. Sometimes that is
difficult to do so I write a blog which helps ease the tension between my two
worlds... I like big sunglasses, big earrings, and red. I like red
because it is the color of passion and I am in fact a passionate person…
I have a need for dynamic conversation and witty stimuli. If anyone has ever
called you a dialtone, then please keep moving along...I work very hard and I
like what I do… I also like to play hard to offset my career challenges. I have
a primal need to be compelled….so compel me!”
Do
not ask me where all this is coming from. Do not ask me who the Hiker Dude is.
Do not ask me anything in fact. Just read those entries, appreciate them; appreciate
one man’s talent and one woman’s inspiration. Leave it all behind you. Get over
it. Get over it just like I am. Hold on to the fleeting optimism in those
sentences. Preserve the memory of those blue eyes you have never seen but you’ve
so often imagined while reading their creations. Don’t take any of it to the
next level, for the next level simply does not exist. Be grateful you’ve
reached the cloud, stop aiming for the outer space, at least for tonight, in
respect of those of us who are disillusioned and don’t dare expect anymore. Sadly
so, but rightfully so. Good night.
